I'M BACK. WITH MOVIES YOU SHOULD F*CK!NG WATCH.

It's been a little while, hasn't it?

Hi friend.

I am currently on a flight to Brussels. There’s no wifi, and I’m watching Wonka. IT’S ALSO ….NOT BAD AT ALL??? I can’t believe I bought into any Wonka slander. Not every movie needs to have earth shattering depth. Look in my face and tell me Superbad is a bad movie. I dare you. Another movie people believe slander about is Waterworld. I LOVE WATERWORLD. Why do movies need to face you with existential ego death in order to be good? What if all I want to do is find NEMO? Or enjoy a woman’s big fat Greek wedding?

Anyway, I am watching Wonka and all I can think about is you, dear reader. It’s been a while and that’s my fault.

I owe you an apology.

I said I was going to upload a new Substack every month. And I didn’t. !! I AM A LIAR. No, jk but- I think I got in my head a little too much about it, and it pains me to admit there are some days I do not think very highly of myself. Every month I would start to feel the pressure to post a Substack and I’d either blank or I’d convince myself I am truly shit at this. It sucks to admit!!! I talk so much about confidence but sometimes life present an opportunity to strengthen the confidence muscle and I do not comply. Somedays I am frozen, some weeks I am terrified that the next thing I do/post will prove I am really undeserving and unworthy of any recognition. Before I know it, months have passed by and I feel like I’ve let you down. I tried a new therapist a veeeerrryyyy long time ago when I was still in Miami and I was late to the appointment because of who I am as a person, and she said “do you not care about being seen as dependable?” GUTTED ME. But I am like this- I invite people over my apartment so I HAVE to clean. I start packing an hour before I’m supposed to leave for the airport. The moment I feel like I have to do something, I don’t want to do it. But this beloved Substack is not something I HAVE to do, it’s something I WANT to do. If someone is tracing my words looking for errors then I am overjoyed for you: you are definitely going to find them. AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! TODAY! I’ll probably care more tomorrow. I may not be the best at deadlines and I may spiral some seasons, but I do know one thing: I can recommend the fuck out of a movie. And that’s what I’m gonna do. There are movies I WANT YOU TO WATCH because they brought me JOY! OR a movie spun me around like a TOP and I CAN’T BELIEVE what just happened. I know in the original post from January I tried to focus on theme and that also freaked me out a bit. I don’t want to focus on theme- every movie I love has a shit ton of theme going on but bottom line is that I liked it. So, the theme to every Substack post from now on is

MOVIES I REALLY FUCKING LIKE I THINK YOU’LL LIKE TOO.
1. DOLORES CLAIBORNE

There are movies and then there are FILMSSSSSSS, HONEY. And THIS is a FILMMMMMMMMMM.

I don’t want to give away too much. THIS IS THE KIND OF MOVIE THAT MAKES YOU EXCITED ABOUT MOVIES AGAIN.  I am in utter shock that people have not watched this movie. Kathy Bates is a fucking artist. I cannot even imagine receiving this script on my desk. it’s like THE script people study ACTING for. Kathy Bates plays a hardened woman from Maine, a hardworking mom who sacrificed more than I’m willing to unveil for the sake of the movie, and she is arrested for the murder of an elderly woman she worked for as a housekeeper.

Kathy Bates is a once in a lifetime talent. You may know her from American Horror Story, but the way she played this character LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE. The way she played this character is……. is so vulnerable in her strength, so careful with her cards. You fucking hate her, and then… you understand her on a cellular level. Kathy, I love you.

Her daughter is played by Jennifer Jason Leigh (breakfast club). CHRISTOPHER MF PLUMMER IS THE DETECTIVE ON THE CASE. HELLO? SOUND OF MUSIC. EDELWEISS???? AN ICONNNNNNNN!!

My bff Flora is a huge movie buff and I made her watch this movie with me a couple weeks ago. She called me and told me this movie is all she’s been able to think about. Dolores Claiborne is a true 90’s psychological thriller and I MISS MOVIES LIKE THIS.

“Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to.”

also note- TW: SA

2. TAKING LIVES

It makes me sick to my stomach that people don’t know Angelinas’ filmography besides Mr. and Mrs. Smith. She did loooove playing a cop for a bit there but holy fuck is she good at it. Ok fine, I also enjoy her in a uniform. I AM MADE OF BLOOD AND FLESH AM I NOT? She plays anf FBI profiler trying to track down a serial killer in Montreal. Ethan Hawke plays an art dealer who unfortunately was an eyewitness to the killer’s most recent murder. And fuck, is he hot and sad. JUST HOW MAMA LIKES EM. No just kidding but the twists in this movie is so chef’s kiss, I stood up and almost walked out the last 10 minutes.

Taking Lives reminds me a bit of Se7en but more because of the coloring of the film- I think movies from this era loved a leaky faucet shot. You know what I mean? Looking for a killer in the rain. You feel? Olivier Martinez is in this one too, Halle Berry’s ex but also THE LOVER FROM THE ICONIC FILM-

3. UNFAITHFUL

Diane Lane is unfaithful to Richard Gere. The wind is a paid actor. You’ll see.

If you like movies like FATAL ATTRACTION (Michael Douglas in The Game is INCREDIBLE- another film that’ll make you doubt what is really happening and what he’s imagining, who to trust and WHAT MONEY CAN REALLY DO) then Unfaithful is right up you’re alley.

The shower scene? When she’s scrubbing? And the steam? And the chemistry? WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. When this movie came out, I remember not being able to BREATHE. I was a pre teen and thinking …. now this…. NOW THIS IS F U C K I N GGGGGG. (lmao).

NOTE: If you liked this movie but also need some…. paranormal…. check out WHAT LIES BENEATH. Michelle Pfeiffer. Harrison Ford. A necklace.

4. LITTLE NEMO: ADVENTURES IN SLUMBERLAND

   Honestly I am surprised how unknown this movie is? It’s animated and it came out in 1989.

   

   It’s Japanese and I had it in VHS. A little boy has a nightmare that turns out to be much, much more. Think Labrynth and Peter Pan. It’s cute, it’s a little creepy for sure, and there’s a flying squirrel. If you’ve been seeing a lot of talk about Animes or Mangas, I think Little Nemo is a wonderful gateway drug. I think I saw this when I was like 6 or 7 and it terrified me for weeks. I was finally able to sleep but no worries, The Ring would late come out in 2001. :-)

   Anyway. WATCH IT !!!! IT’S GOOD.

There is a movie I recently rewatched I think my sci-fi and fantasy people would love (I am one of you)- but I am hesitant because it stars Johnny Depp. I know Johnny Depp triggers a lot of emotions for many of us, for many different reasons. If there are certain actors or entertainers you can no longer stomach for personal reasons, I do not think that is anything to be ashamed of. However, if you enjoy movies about outer space and Johnny Depp does not affect you, I suggest watching “The Astronaut’s Wife”. Charlize Theron is SO GOOD AT BEING SCARED AND CONCERNED. SHE’S SO GOOD AT IT. Her husband (JD) is an astronaut, and something … weird… happens on a mission. He comes back……. different.

Let me know IF YOU WATCH ANY OF THESE. I LOVE YOU. AND AGAIN

I LOVED WONKA. !!! THAT IS MY TRUTH

with love in every word and intention,

your friend tefi