I HEARD YOU MAYBE NEEDED A GIGGLE AND A CRY?

You didn't ask but still you shall receive. Fuck I'm SUCH a good person.

I was on the stairmaster (fuck the stairmaster) today and I was scrolling on my phone. “Doom scrolling” I believe the kids call it. By kids I mean anyone below 80, so I too am in this group. I couldn’t stop doom scrolling and I am stuck on babydaddytok. I’m not going to lie to you here…. IT’S GOOD DRAMAAAAAA, BABY. After getting off that horrible, ghastly and putrid machine I decided I was gonna watch a movie. This was around 2/3pm. I put on “Marshall” because Chadwick Boseman is in it and I miss seeing him in movies. Here’s the trailer:

Also, Josh Gad has always been hilarious. If you haven’t seen “The Rocker” with Rainn Wilson…….. I INSISTTTTTTTT.

Anyway I couldn’t get off my phone and I didn’t start the movie until 7pm. Doom scrolling is getting in the way of WATCHING MOVIES YOU WILL LOVE. Don’t be like me. Put your phones away and watch some GOOD MOVIES. If you NEVER watch a movie rec of mine, please watch my last rec in this list. PLEASE.

Anyway.
I HAVE A FEW MOVIES THAT WILL ALSO GIVE YOU A GIGGLE, AND THEN 2 MOVIES THAT WILL GIVE YOU A CRY.

1. EVOLUTION (2001)

   

   Orlando Jones, if you ever read this…. I love you so much. THIS LITTLE PICTURE WENT TRIPLE PLATINUM IN MY HOUSE. Specifically for the butthole scene. David Duchovny is a professor and his students find something peculiar in a golf course nearby. AND JULIANNE MOORE IS IN IT. WHAT MORE DO YOU NEEEEEEED??????

2. LISA FRANKENSTEIN (2024)

   

   Diablo Cody should be way more famous. She’s a little fucking freak and I would take a bullet for her. Lisa Willow’s mom is axe murdered in front of her and she develops a crush at her local cemetery. Her stepmom is an asshole but her step-sister Taffy is a cheerleader and wants to help her new sister. Her crush Michael is a poet but her dead crush changes everything for her. If you like dark humor then this is a good one.

3. WILD WILD WEST

   

   Rewatched this the other day on day 2 of my period and forgot I had cramps. That’s how funny this movie is. Lean into the corniness, it’s good for your spirit. And because I am angelic and generous, here’s the RIDICULOUS music video by the same name for the movie. By Will Smith. Sit down, no need to stand and applause for me!! I do this out of the goodness of my HEART. PS- Salma Hayek you will always be FINEEEEEEE.

4. DRAGONFLY (2002)

   I know Kevin Costner is probably a real asshole (his recent divorce was MEEEESSSSSYYYYYYYY) but fuck I love his movies. I used to watch Madonna’s documentary “Truth or Dare” (free on youtube) about her Blonde Ambition tour (spikey bra era) every week and even MADONNA calls him an asshole. If Madonna thinks you’re an asshole, you’re probably a bit of an asshole.

   But!! Kevin Costner’s wife goes missing in Venezuela because she’s a doctor helping indigenous people. This movie is paranormal and sweet, and I cried like a baby. I saw this one in theaters and I’ve never forgotten it. I feel like your moms would like this one too!!!!

   

   5. TIME MACHINE (2002)
   A scientist’s wife is murderedn in 1899, and he is so heartbroken so creates a time machine. But things don’t go as planned for our heartbroken protagonist. It’s heartwrenching, and he decides nothing matters. He gets into his machine and decides to go where no man has gone before. If you like Lord of The Rings, romance, and the human condition to fight for what’s right- if you want to believe in the goodness of people again for a couple hours- this is your movie.

   HOW DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW WHO SAMANTHA MUMBA IS???? THE POP STAR AND ICON??????

SAMANTHA YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!

6. Little Princess

   

   If you are a girl and reading this- I am proud of you. I love you, I am proud of you, I see you, I believe we are sisters in every lifetime and I hope to fight for us until the day I die. Being anything other than a cis white dude in the world can feel crushing somedays, like we are too sensitive for a world asking way too much for way too little in return. And to anyone else out there reading this wanting to protect women- thank you, please be louder. We need your support. I hope every woman in the world never forgets the little girl in them: the dreamer, the creative, the leader, the poet, the storyteller, the dancer, the giggler, the magician, the optomist. There are other women out there that are not like you, that are lost and bitter and cruel. I hope you find your way back to us.

   Little Princess is a movie every girl should watch. And if you’re new to girlhood- then you MUST watch you just MUST!!! and welcome <3

   Little Princess is a love letter to every girl that’s ever felt the world turn on her, and I pray you feel the sun on your face again soon baby.

with love in every word and intention,

your friend tefi

I don’t care if that sign off doesn’t make sense, I like it. Actually, I think I fucking love it.